UH INTRUDER?

On Saturday evening or I suppose technically Sunday morning, the hour drew late to around three o’clock and I grew tired. I prepared to retire to my bedchambers by brushing my teeth, flossing, and turning off most of the lights in my simple abode. As I was about to crawl into bed, I heard a disturbance from out in the hallway. Was it my next door neighbour coming home? Nope, I heard him come back an hour ago and this disturbance sounded like it was right outside my door.

I stepped out of my bedroom into my unlit living room. Whatever it was definitely was happening at my door. I heard the jingle-jangle of keys as someone was trying to unlock my door but fortunately not succeeding. I suppose if I were living in the US, I could have immediately shot through my front door and killed whoever this person was in a completely legal manner. I do not live in the US, however, so instead I gingerly approached the door to look out the peephole.

I saw a slightly confused young man who appeared to be in his 20s, fumbling around with his keys, wondering why it wouldn’t open my door. I was about to open the door to let him know he didn’t live in my apartment but he took a look at the number on my door and hightailed it out of there. So it was just a case of mistaken home identity. I decided to go talk to him anyways, so I unlocked my door and walked after him.

I found him in front of the elevators where he seemed a bit tipsy and probably was inebriated to a certain extent.

“Uh, hello?”

“Oh sorry man!”

“Uh, ok”

I went back into my home, locked the door again, and went to bed. It was an innocent mistake but how did he even wind up in front of my door? The fobs in our building only allow the elevator to take you to the common floors and the floor you live on. For example, I can’t go into the elevator and then try to go up to the 35th floor. The elevator won’t let me. This dude definitely does not live on my floor because I’m a nosy SOB and I know everyone on my floor. The only thing I could think of is that he might have taken the stairs to get to my floor. While most floors are locked from the staircase side, I live on one of the “cross-over” floors where the staircase doors are unlocked to allow people to transit to the other emergency staircase in case of a blockage. He could have done that but how many drunk people do you know would choose to walk up close to 30 flights of stairs rather than take the elevator when trying to get home? Most sober people would rather take an elevator too.

Well, no harm no foul I suppose but this is a reminder that you should always lock your doors.

SO DRY

This week temperatures dipped below freezing for the first time this season. I had to put in my extra insert into my North Face jacket to keep warm. The cold doesn’t really bother me as I’m only in the elements for about five minutes from the bus stop to the studio. What bothers me about winter the most is the dry skin. For whatever reason, I feel like I’m especially susceptible to dry skin in the winter.

I can tell which parts of my body are the driest when I shower. As soon as the hot water hits my body, the pain is a signal where I need to apply moisturizer afterwards. I wish there was some way to easily lather my entire body in a thin layer of moisturizer. Perhaps they will invent a machine that does that some day. In the meantime, I’ll have to settle for awkwardly trying to apply lotion on my back where I can’t reach.

ACCIDENTAL CAFFEINE

As a general rule, I try to not ingest any caffeine after 4pm as I susceptible to its stimulant effects. If I break this rule, it can affect my ability to fall asleep.

Well, I was working a bit late this evening. The meal served to us was Greek food, which is one of my favourites. There was no lamb unfortunately but the chicken souvlaki was good enough. After dinner, I intended to get a nice cup of mint tea. While the green tea that EA serves is terrible, I’ve become quite fond of this refreshing, yet non-caffeinated mint tea. It’s a great choice for a post-dinner palate cleanse.

So after dinner, I’m at the coffee and tea station, with all the intentions of making a cup of mint tea. I must have been distracted by conversing with a co-worker because I grabbed a green tea bag instead and dropped it into my mug of hot water. Now you’d think I would have noticed once the tea had finished steeping and I had my first sip. Yes, that would be logical but I was concentrating on my work once I got back to my desk and tasting green tea isn’t exactly something that’s foreign to me. Indeed, it’s one of the most common things I drink. So yeah, I didn’t notice anything wrong at all.

It only dawned on me at midnight, when I was wondering why I was not feeling tired after a very long day at work. I had consumed a very strong and large mug of green tea at around 7pm. I’ve since taken a sleeping pill. I feel like it will counteract the caffeine soon. I’ll get that cup of mint tea tomorrow.

DIARRHEA FOLLOW-UP

I’m pleased to announce that my two bouts of diarrhea last night did not continue into the next day. I woke up feeling fine and farted quite loudly but you know what, that’s not different from any other morning.

I had a salad for lunch, which did not cause me any loose poops. Anyways, I hope you all had a great day!

ADMISSION

Folks, you and I have been through a lot on this blog so I have no hesitation in telling you I just had two episodes of diarrhea in the last half hour. Is this something that most people would keep to themselves and not write about on a public blog? Perhaps yes but by now you know I’m not like most people.

It might have been something I ate but then again my digestive system works in mysterious ways so it could be anything. I feel fine now but who knows what will happen in the next little while. Here’s where it gets interesting. I kinda need to get to bed soon, so let’s hope I don’t wake up with a surprise in my silk banana hammock. If things turn brown, I’ll update you all tomorrow.

DAREDEVIL

I’m about eight months late to the party but I just finished watching the first season of Daredevil on Netflix. I know some of you are suffering from superhero fatigue but this show is unlike anything you’ve seen. The show is much more grounded in reality, well as much reality as there can be while still staying within the Marvel Cinematic Universe. I would actually describe the first season as more of a crime thriller with some very limited superhero elements.

People have described the show as having a neighbourhood hero rather than say Thor, whose exploits span the galaxy. Indeed, this is very true as all thirteen episodes take place in New York City, and even then, only the Hell’s Kitchen portion of the city. There is some amazing character development, far more than is possible in any of the feature films.

Once you’re done with the man with no fear, you might want to look up Jessica Jones as well.

11/22/63 ON TV

Hulu has just released the first trailer for 11.22.63, their new mini-series based on the book 11/22/63 by Stephen King. The novel is one of the best I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading, combining my fascination of time travel and the assassination of JFK. James Franco plays the central character in this drama, the school teacher who goes back in time to prevent the events of that fateful day.

If the mini-series is even half as good as the book, it will be some fine television. I just hope the show will be faithful to the source material and that they don’t deviate too much from the book’s ending… that bittersweet ending. I shall say no more.

RANDOMS

I am happy to report my poop hip is no longer causing me any pain. One night of semi-restful sleep did the trick. It’s like I have Wolverine’s healing power, if Wolverine were an old, decrepit man. I actually pooped twice at work today, no accident those times.

I was downtown this evening to meet a friend and decided to pop by the venue where last weekend’s bachelor party was. I forgot my scarf there on Saturday. You might be surprised to know it was not a strip joint where I forgot it. I will say no more but I did manage to get my scarf back. It’s my favourite scarf and the only one I wear so I was very happy to get it back.

Ok, check back tomorrow to see if write about poop again.

POOP HIP

Earlier this morning I found myself having the need to poop at work. This in itself is not an uncommon occurrence as I frequently poop at work. Anyways, as I was sitting at one of the designated waste stations I was about to wipe myself free of excrement. As I shifted my body to do so the toilet seat underneath me unexpectedly moved laterally a few inches. The seat was loose and it was able to move far enough that those nubby plastic supports on the bottom of the seat shifted off the top of the bowl. So not only did it move laterally, it moved plunged vertically. I was lucky to not fall off in my state. Relieved that I suffered no immediate harm, I moved the seat back to where it should have been and finished with my cleansing ritual.

I didn’t think about my slight misadventure on the bowl until several hours later when I got up from my desk to get some water. My right hip began to hurt whenever I took a step on that side. It wasn’t painful enough that I couldn’t walk but I felt like running would have caused some major discomfort. At this point, I was cursing my advanced age and thinking how ridiculous it would be to have a wonky hip because of a toilet accident. The pain stayed with me until well into the evening where thankfully I now only feel slight dull ache on that side.

I’ll be very disappointed if this becomes a chronic condition.

BACHELOR PARTY POST-MORTEM

On Saturday, the bachelor party that I was responsible for organizing was held somewhere in downtown Vancouver. Despite the title of the post, no one died during the party. As some of you know, the responsibility of such a party weighed on my heavily and was causing me some very real stress. In general, the evening went fairly well and I think most of the gentlemen enjoyed what I had planned for them. Most importantly, the groom-to-be had a good time and I think that was always the end goal.

Now that I’ve been through that trial through fire, I feel like I’d be even better at planning the next bachelor party, should I need to. If anyone is facing the same problems with planning, I’d like to impart some wisdom earned through my own experiences. Obviously I will not get into the specific details of what happened on Saturday evening. Actually, I consider that a sign the evening was a success. My friend, the groom, said that absolutely there were some things that happened that wives and girlfriends would not be happy about. I personally thought it was pretty tame stuff but hearing that made me feel relieved.

Ok, so first off, you will need a fair amount of time to plan the party properly. The more complicated or involved the event will be, the longer you will need to plan it. Also, if the group is large, it will also take more time to plan. I’ve heard some people say you should start planning two months in advance. I say you don’t want to leave it any less than a month in advance.

Second, do seriously consider using a professional (bachelor) party/event planner to help with the planning. Leveraging other people’s experience is something that applies to a lot of situations in life, not just bachelor parties. I went this route and it really helped me focus on what was available to me both in terms of budget and group size. By having a planner, I avoided the clich├ęd dinner at a pub followed by a visit to several strip clubs type of bachelor party. The event planning company I dealt with has done this hundreds of times, so they know exactly what to do and how to make your party fun for everyone.

Third, while very unfortunate, the reality is that money will increase the odds your party will be better, smoother, and more memorable than if you didn’t spend more on it. I have heard of a few great bachelor parties where not a lot of money was spent to organize it and not a lot of money was spent during it as well. Those are definitely exceptions though. Whether it’s food, alcohol, or strippers, all these cost money and for those particular things, the general rule of thumb is that the more you spend on it, the better it is. In hindsight, I should have put in more of my own money to make the party even crazier and grander.

Lastly, don’t be conservative about your planning. This applies to everything. If you think you’ll need 10 large pizzas, get 12 or 15. If you think 20 strippers is enough, get 25 just in case. No one remembers a bachelor party by saying, “Man, remember that party where there were just enough strippers for us?” Indeed, you want the party to be the most memorable thing these gentlemen have ever been part of. No bachelor party ever got better and more crazier because the organizer held back. If you think you’ve got it just right, go ahead and get more of everything.

At beginning I was dreading this great responsibility but now I feel like I’d like to do it again (well obviously not with the same groom).