“Grandmaster Tu Jin-Sheng, best known for his Iron Crotch, attached himself not once, but twice, to a rental moving truck and pulled it several yards across a parking lot in Fremont. In lace-up leather boots and a black tank top, the 50-year-old tied a strip of blue fabric around the base of his penis and testicles and tugged to make sure it was on tight. An assistant kicked him hard between the legs before he lashed himself to the vehicle.”

“Jin-Sheng hopes to strap a dozen of his top students to a 747 for the biggest penis pull of all time.”

And here I thought I held the record for the biggest penis pull of all time… or was that something else? Read the whole article here.


I will admit this might not be the most politically correct post I’ve ever written. The topic is interesting, however, so I feel in the end this is worth posting, even if it makes a feel people uncomfortable in the end.

So last week, I’m sitting in my cubicle with my cubicle-mate “Greg”. We are happily coding away, putting in place what must have been the millionth re-design in our game. “Ron” walks into our cubicle. I am not sure what we talk about first but the conversation turns to “Dave”, another co-worker. Ron says something about Dave “taking away our women”. Alright, so let’s stop here for some backstory. Dave, who is an awesome guy by the way, is dating “Joyce”. Dave is what some people commonly refer to as a “white guy”. Joyce is what some people call “Chinese”. Ron is Chinese as well. Greg is also known as a white guy, Caucasian if you will. Just for completeness, I will also identify myself as Chinese at this point. Hey, just out of curiosity, was that last statement a surprise to anyone?

Anyways, Ron was half-joking when he made his comment but Greg calmly looked up from his work and said, “Well, why don’t you just go even it up and go out with a white girl?” Ron took this suggestion and had an unconvinced look on his face. What he said next was one of the most significant things I’ve ever heard him say:

“Date a white girl? Dude, that’s impossible! There’s been only one Chinese guy in the history of the world that’s ever successfully dated a white woman… and that was Bruce Lee. And to even make that happen, he had to be fucking Bruce Lee! It’s a fact of life that white women don’t date Chinese guys, it’s just the way it is…”

When the laughter about the Bruce Lee comment died down, Ron asked Greg how many times he’s seen a Chinese guy out with a white woman. Ron answered his own question with… “never”.

It was at this point, I put down my fried chicken and said that while there many, many truths to what Ron had just mentioned, I have seen some rare exceptions. I noted that once in 1989, I’m pretty sure I saw a Chinese guy out on a date with a white woman. Then again in 1997, I saw a Chinese guy with a white woman at Safeway shopping for taco fixings. They even had a kid with them, which I assumed was theirs. Most recently, I also told Ron my friend’s sister had even married a Chinese guy. “Sarah’s” sister is Caucasian. I even showed Ron the wedding photos online. Ron was still very unbelieving:

“Dude, those photos are on the Internet… have you heard of Photoshop before? There was a probably a white guy in those pictures originally…”

Despite Ron’s extreme claims, I believe he’s wrong but only by the slightest of margins. Yes, there are Chinese guys out there with white girlfriends but these are extremely rare instances. If these types of relationships were animals they’d be on the endangered species list. Not so rare are the white dude and Chinese woman couples. These relationships are plentiful in North America, some of which are comprised by guys with the “fever“.

So why is that white guys find Chinese women attractive but not that other way around? I’m not a social scientist so I have no definite answer. I do have some theories though. Unfornately, some men and women take their cue from pop culture and the media as to what is “attractive”. For the most part, Asian women on TV and movies have always been portrayed as a combination of submissive and exotic. I’ve seen some cases where they are clearly presented as sexual objects. So how are Asian men portrayed in media? Ok, so let’s see… there was Bruce Lee, who was a martial arts expert… then there’s Jackie Chan… who was a martial arts expert. Then there was the character of Long Duk Dong from Sixteen Candles whose most famous quote was, “No more yankie my wankie. The Donger need food.”

In general, what few appearances Asian males have made in the media, they never get the girl in the end, instead, usually ending the movie in the friend zone with a handshake. Often, Asian males are seen as sexless martial arts experts or geeky guys who are good at math. Good or bad, women of all ethnicities do become influenced by this.

Then there’s the popular myth that Asian men have small penises. Man, of all the things that have hurt my Asian brothers out there in the dating world, I think this has been the worst. Can you imagine how hard it is to ask a woman out when she’s already thinking you’ve got a small penis? Tiny wang disease is an affliction that knows no boundaries of race. It can happen to any guy.

As you can see, it’s an uphill battle for Chinese guys when it comes to dating women of other races. It’s not impossible but I would say it’s extremely difficult and the odds are not good. I told Ron this but he disagrees. He thinks it is indeed impossible, he believes white women do not find Asian males attractive enough to be boyfriend material.

In fact, he is so sure of this that offered me a little wager. If I could find a Caucasian girlfriend the next *ten* years, he’ll give me $100. He also set out some details for the bet:

– no age restriction other than being older than 18; I am free to date senior citizens if I wish

– she has to be of European descent; New Zealand and Australia is ok

– I must go on a minimum of four dates

– she must admit to Ron that I am her boyfriend

– I cannot tell the woman about the bet or coerce a woman into this with the promise of money

– I cannot use dating sites for this bet (I argued vehemently against this but Ron would not relent)

I accepted the bet. Now before all of you get your panties in a bunch about me messing around with some girl’s feelings over a $100 bet, please hear me out. I find that there’s beauty in all races. Ok, that sounds like a cliche or possibly a pickup line, but it’s true. Physical beauty can be found in all ethnicities and a great personality isn’t limited to certain race. I’m colour blind when it comes to dating.

So, I’m taking the bet in the sense that yes, if I happen to date a white woman in the next *ten* years, I’ll win the bet, but it doesn’t mean I’ll be trolling the bars on the weekend from now on, searching exclusively for white women. That’s just a bit too creepy, even for me.

Most of you know me well enough that I wouldn’t date a woman just to win a bet, so I don’t want a stack of angry e-mails out of this.

Alright, now I gotta get back to practicing my kung-fu, solving integrals, and washing my tiny cock.


I have a big post on the backburner but I have neither the time nor the energy to get it out on the airwaves tonight.

Instead, I’ll pull out every blogger’s backup plan… the external link. Click the link below to take you to a totally random (work safe) web page on the Internet. Your result will be completely unique compared to everyone else. Try it out!

I’m Feeling Random


I got back home way too late tonight to post anything remotely interesting. I will say that this heavy blanket of fog has been draped upon the Lower Mainland for five days now. The fog has had a very cool visual effect on the city.

It’s slightly unsettling which makes it even better. Some of my co-workers believe we are on the verge of a zombie invasion. Their excitement is almost palpable!


Well, they’ve finally done it. Adam Sandler and his production company have made a movie about the life of a video game tester. Yes, the glamourous life I lived for about two years will at long last be immortalized in movie form.

Here’s the plot summary from what I’ve gathered on the Internet. The main character Alex is a video game tester in his mid-30s with no girlfriend. He’s been evicted from his apartment after his roommate spent the rent money on hookers. Forced to couch surf for a while, he winds up staying at his grandma’s house with two of her friends. Hilarity reigns throughout the movie.

You can find out info about the movie in several places. There are two trailers here. One is for those under 18 and the other for those over 18. Both trailers are actually quite funny. Once you access the adult trailer, you’ll also get access to a delightfully raunchy clip. It’s not exactly high-brow material, but that kinda captures the whole video game testing environment. Pictures and behind the scenes video can be found at Adam Sandler’s web site.

I have no doubt there will be more than a few testers at EA Canada who will be catching this flick on or after January 6. Whether or not this movie will give them more respect remains to be scene. Things like the character who still sleeps in a racing car bed won’t help their image. On the other hand, maybe this movie will help them get laid easier.

Now, if they can only make a movie about video game software engineers… because that movie would be totally different…


I had my performance review at 10am sharp on Friday. I took an earlier bus just to be there on time. Though the bus was just ten minutes before the bus I usually take, it was a world of difference. There was hardly anyone on the bus. I rode into work in style and comfort.

The whole process went well. They gave me a copy of the review. It was all positive for the most part. I was told, however, to ensure that I wear underwear to work. Well ok, maybe that wasn’t on the review.

There are also rumours at work that we maybe moving to W. 1st Ave. and Fir Street. This was one of the locations that was visited by our company when they did a tour of available office space. If we did move there, it wouldn’t happen until after the new year. My commute time would probably identical to the one I have now. It would be a shorter distance to travel but more walking time from the bus stop.

Of course, this is all unofficial hearsay and one of the other options is to just stay where we are. It wouldn’t be all that bad if we stayed but I will admit, our current office is the most unglamourous video game workplace I’ve ever seen. It’s certainly a far cry from the sleek campus that EA has in Burnaby and we sure don’t have a log cabin at our place like Radical does. I’ve been told the Fir Street location is more along the lines of what kind of office we should be in.

Ok, so that’s your Monday morning post.


Daddy’s got no time to write any pearls of wisdom tonight. I gotta get up a bit earlier tomorrow to make sure I get to work on time. I have my first performance review at 10am sharp.

They say a popular tactic is to start off with praise, then get to some criticisms, and then finish off with a little more praise. I wonder if they’ll go by the book. I’ll report back later.


Sure we all see the Canucks on TV and maybe even at the bowling alley, but do you wonder what they do when they’re travelling to road games? Once in a while, the Canucks web site offers a small glimpse into the players’ off-ice life.

In the latest set of pictures, we get to see the players on the plane down to California. Apparently, there’s no snack cart onboard, it’s all self-serve for the boys. Reading the paper also seems like a popular way to pass the time. As seen here, Bert catches up on the sports scores. Notice the ad in the lower left-hand corner of the paper, yep, that’s him in it. Trev looks pretty interested in a business book. Could the current president of the NHLPA be looking at a business career after hockey? A lot of the players like to take off their dress shirts on the plane. Half the guys are lounging around in their undershirts. See the rest of the pictures here.