Earlier this morning I found myself having the need to poop at work. This in itself is not an uncommon occurrence as I frequently poop at work. Anyways, as I was sitting at one of the designated waste stations I was about to wipe myself free of excrement. As I shifted my body to do so the toilet seat underneath me unexpectedly moved laterally a few inches. The seat was loose and it was able to move far enough that those nubby plastic supports on the bottom of the seat shifted off the top of the bowl. So not only did it move laterally, it moved plunged vertically. I was lucky to not fall off in my state. Relieved that I suffered no immediate harm, I moved the seat back to where it should have been and finished with my cleansing ritual.

I didn’t think about my slight misadventure on the bowl until several hours later when I got up from my desk to get some water. My right hip began to hurt whenever I took a step on that side. It wasn’t painful enough that I couldn’t walk but I felt like running would have caused some major discomfort. At this point, I was cursing my advanced age and thinking how ridiculous it would be to have a wonky hip because of a toilet accident. The pain stayed with me until well into the evening where thankfully I now only feel slight dull ache on that side.

I’ll be very disappointed if this becomes a chronic condition.

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