Month: December 2012

Well, if WordPress is correct, this is my 3000th published blog post. What a milestone! Three thousand well-written and thoughtful pieces of fine writing! Ha!

You’d think with such a milestone I’d have a great post ready but you’d be wrong. I’ll use this momentous occasion to tell you a story from a few days ago. I was peeing in one of the bathroom stalls at work. I don’t use the urinals because they’re like six inches apart and there’s no divider between them. The last time I used one of those urinals, a guy actually stepped up next to me and our shoulders touched while we urinated. I’m talking full on sustained contact during the entire urination. It was so uncomfortable.

Anyways, I now urinate in the stalls now. So last week, I’m doing my business and I kinda started to daydream and looked up at the ceiling. I glanced down and I realized my aim was totally off. I was missing the bowl and actually had peed on the stall dividing wall for about two seconds. I was mortified and corrected my aim. I’d never been that off with my aim before. I looked to see what kind of mess I had made. Luckily, it wasn’t enough to start pooling on the tiles but there was no doubt I got a good chunk of the dividing wall. Before I was done, someone came into the stall next to me and I was afraid he might notice the floor was kinda wet. I quickly finished my routine, took some toilet paper and wiped off the wall a bit. Then I washed my hands and ran outta there!

Yep, this is what I used my 3000th post for.

Mike O’Brien is a staff writer on Saturday Night Live. On a summer break, he tried to think of something to do. He came up with the idea of interviewing celebrities in a closet, based off the adolescent party game, seven minutes in heaven.

O’Brien usually sticks to a sequence of events in the interview. He’ll ask the celebrity random questions, then move onto something he calls “closet theatre” where he and the guest will do some quick improv. At the end of the interview, O’Brien attempts to awkwardly kiss the celebrity (which is the most entertaining part for some viewers), which he explains is part of the whole “seven minutes in heaven” thing. Because of the first set of the interviews were not initially available for viewing, those guests did not know O’Brien was going to kiss them. Their reactions are genuine and not scripted. Because the interviews are more well-known now, celebrities almost always know what will happen at the end.

In the interview above, O’Brien interviews comedienne Kristen Wiig, who he claims did not realize he was going for a kiss at the end. If you want to see more Seven Minutes in Heaven, the videos are unfortunately mixed up in a few places. There’s what appears to be the original YouTube channel, then another YouTube channel, and finally on Yahoo! where the most recent videos are.

Well, I was gonna write about how tired I felt today after last night’s disturbed sleeping schedule but I’ve just read that in the last hour a sizable earthquake just occurred off the coast of Japan in the Pacific Ocean. At least for the coast of British Columbia, there appears to be no tsunami risk. Here’s the unfortunate thing though, I had to get that information through the US National Weather Service bulletin. The agency tasked within British Columbia to inform citizens and residents about emergency matters, like a tsunami warning, has been and remains silent of as this writing. This is the same agency that was criticized during the last potential tsunami event in October when it took much longer to warn residents about a potential danger. Again, it was an American agency that BC residents had to get information from to act accordingly.

It might be that the fact there is no perceived danger this time around is why there is no word from the BC government but given how much I know about governmental agencies, I highly doubt that.

I had the intention this evening of taking a short nap, of about 20 minutes. I crawled into bed and kept the lights on. It felt like my left butt cheek was going a bit numb, so I rolled over onto my right. The next thing I know it was two hours later. That was not good.

I had planned on using some of that time to clean up my apartment a bit. The even greater concern is that I’ve now probably messed up my sleep schedule for tonight. I usually don’t feel tired well after midnight in normal circumstances, you can probably guess how refreshed I feel with a two-hour nap behind me. Perhaps I might have time to clean my apartment after all.

Here’s Will Ferrell’s acceptance speech for the 2011 Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. This year, Ellen DeGeneres was given the honour.

My loyal readers, the above image illustrates two things that are painfully clear to anyone. One, I cannot grow a proper or decent moustache and two, I do not photograph well.

For the last several years I’ve been trying to eat and drink in a healthier manner. It’s a struggle that I don’t always win as evidenced by my lunch at KFC today. In general, I’ve been trying to stay away from red meat, reduce my consumption of fried foods (this is a tough one), eat more fruits and vegetables, and reduce my sugar consumption. The sugar one is an important one for me as I suffer from hypoglycemia and both of my parents have developed diabetes.

I enjoy drinking Coke and other soft drinks but since my parents’ diagnosis a few years back, I switched to diet soft drinks, namely Coke Zero. I’ve become increasingly concerned about the health effects that the artificial sweeteners in these drinks however. I’ve been saying that I’ve just traded diabetes for cancer.

When I started my new job, I noticed a co-worker who was drinking club soda. She said liked club soda because it didn’t have sugars nor artificial sweeteners but it was still carbonated. In that way, it had some similarities to a soft drink but without any of the potential harmful ingredients. I hadn’t tried club soda by itself since I was a kid. I remember hating the taste because it wasn’t sugary like a soft drink. I tried it again at work and I was pleasantly surprised. When it’s chilled, it offers the same refreshing feel as a soft drink but without any of the flavouring. It also has the bonus effect of being rehydrating.

I often drink club soda at work now instead of Coke Zero. At home, I’ve stopped buying soft drinks and only buy club soda. It’s a good change and I feel better for doing it.