CANADIAN GOLD

We’ve been watching a lot of the Olympic coverage at work. We get CBC streamed in on our internal network plus its on all the TVs in the studio. As you can imagine, it’s certainly not news to us that Canada has not won a single medal so far in Beijing.

I think a few of us are getting discourage by our performance so far. I’m not sure who coined it but someone came up with the phrase “Canadian gold”. We’ve decided it means any performance by a Canadian athlete where they place eighth or better. It’s made for some interesting comments.

“He didn’t make the podium but his time was good for a ‘Canadian gold’.”

“Oh, the final heat is starting, she’ll be going for ‘Canadian gold’.”

“Doh! He just missed out on ‘Canadian gold’.”

I have full confidence in our athletes to get at least one medal before the Games end.

I CAN RETURN IT FOR CREDIT RIGHT?

I indeed set in motion a series of events that will soon involve me making an offer for an apartment. I should be freaked out right now but I’m not since I’m convinced there will be some back and forth on the actual selling price.

I’m not sure if it was a wise decision to make the offer based on only having 5.5h to 6h of sleep the previous night but who really needs a good night of sleep to potentially enter into the most expensive purchase of your life?

This isn’t a sure thing right now, so there’s no reason to get excited. We’ll see what the other party has to say and we’ll go from there.

HAPPY TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY

Last Friday was my two year anniversary marking my time working at EA Black Box. I didn’t realize the milestone day had passed until the weekend was almost over. This is the longest I’ve worked at any job and for a guy that’s now over 30 years of age, that’s kinda sad. Nonetheless, it’s been an awesome two years. Professionally, this is the best gig I’ve had by a ridonkulous margin. I am as passionate today about what I’m working on as I was twenty-eight months ago.

It’s been a really fast two years as well. Five more years and I’ll get my first sabbatical! I wonder if we’ll have flying cars by then.

THE SHOW OUT ON THE LANAI

During my vacation in Hawaii, I learned a few things about Hawaii that I did not know before. For example, “ewa” means the west direction. “Diamond Head” refers to the east direction. “Mahalo” means thank you. A “lanai” is a porch or balcony. Thus, if your hotel lanai faces the ocean, you’ve got a good room.

The lanai for my hotel room was small and afforded me a “city view” which essentially meant it faced the worst possible direction, namely towards the island. While the visible mountains were sorta pretty, there was no water to be seen from my lanai. Here’s what I mainly could see.

What was interesting was that at night, I could actually see into many other hotel rooms in the area. With the beach area so densely packed with hotels, looking left and right meant there was no more than about 70m between myself and another hotel window. There was an especially large hotel off to the right of my lanai and I’ll be darned if a lot of people didn’t close their drapes at night. Now, I’m no perv… ok, so maybe I am a little but I certainly wasn’t out there every evening with binoculars hours at a time. I just took note that yes, you could see a lot of people going about their clothed business in the evening in their hotel rooms.

So on one of the very last evenings I was in Hawaii, I was waiting for Ron to come to my hotel. We were going to have a few drinks. While waiting, I decided to get some fresh air and stepped out onto the lanai. Looking to my right, I saw people in the hotel next door doing mundane things. Some were packing, some were sitting out on their own lanais, and others were watching TV. Then one window caught my eye. There appeared to be a woman in her underwear and a t-shirt walking around her room. Even from this distance, I could tell she didn’t go to the gym that often but she wasn’t exactly obese either. Then the boyfriend/husband made an appearance. He sauntered out from what I believed to be the bathroom… completely naked. There was no hiding the fact his body wasn’t exactly a work of art either. He was kinda chubby but not obese just like his female companion. Now both of them were now at their window, looking over at my direction. I turned my head slightly because I wasn’t sure if they were looking at me. After a minute, I turned my head back and by now, he’d pressed his face right up against the window. It was clear he wasn’t looking at me but looking at a window in my hotel, the side perpendicular to my room. There he was pointing and gesturing at some unknown sight, all the while showing me and the rest of the world his naked body (including his penis if you weren’t sure).

I didn’t think I could take much more of this so I went back inside and turned on some HBO while I waited for Ron to arrive. After a few minutes the knock on my door signaled Ron’s presence. We watched TV for a few more minutes when I mentioned to him the chubby naked guy I saw out on my lanai. Ron wanted to see so I said ok and we both went out there.

As I turned to the right to point to the window where I had seen naked dude, I immediately saw that he was no longer at his window. He was in fact, having very, very visible sex with his female companion on the bed. It was an all out show. The sun had set hours ago, so it was completely dark outside. Their drapes were completely open and almost all the lights were on in their room. There was no mistaking they wanted everyone within viewing distance to know they were having sex.

It took Ron a few seconds to find the window but when he did, we were both awestruck by what we were seeing. I’d never witnessed a sight like this before. The weird thing is, both of them didn’t have attractive bodies, so if this were porn, it’d be pretty disappointing porn. Yet, because it was happening live and they were so intent on putting on this show, it was utterly fascinating to watch. We could not take our eyes off the whole situation. Ron then had the smart idea to take out his camera and start taking pictures! Hell yeah! Unfortunately, several things worked against us in this regard. Given the distance and the lighting conditions, it was difficult for a point and shoot digital camera to capture the best details. Also, we had stepped out much too late onto the lanai since they finished about five minutes after we started watching. We captured a bit of the post-coital interaction but it was clear that we missed a lot of the midgets donkeys ball gags “good stuff”. I’ll leave it to your imagination what I mean by that.

The couple at one point just suddenly turned off all the lights in their room, which signaled to us the end of the show. We were disappointed, yet we had pictures! Ron and I then went to have a few drinks at some bars. Nothing else that night topped what we saw earlier.

Ok, so you’re probably wondering what Ron did with the pictures he took. Of course he sent them to me. I have them. I have also uploaded them to my server. I am also willing to share them with you. Before you get all click-y and download-y, keep in mind a few things. The pictures are blurry and have bad lighting so don’t expect studio quality shots. Also, while there is no clear genitalia visible in any of these shots, there’s no mistaking there’s two people having sex in the photos, so viewing these at work probably isn’t a good idea. Did you read that correctly? Don’t look at these at work! So with that out of the way I guess you can see what we saw.

Picture 1 – NSFW!

Picture 2 – NSFW!

Picture 3 – NSFW!

Well, have fun with those.

THE SMOKE BREAK

Over the last several weeks I’ve been accompanying co-workers who go downstairs and outside for smoke breaks. I’ve been calling it my time to “second-hand smoke” a cigarette. In reality, I just enjoy taking a few minutes of the day to go outside and get out of the studio for a few minutes. It also helps that there are undoubtedly lots of pretty girls walking around our area of downtown Vancouver.

For non-smokers, we don’t have these type of breaks. The cigarette gives smokers that excuse to go outside and light one up. Do we non-smokers need an excuse to go outside? I suppose not but it sure helps people get into the habit leaving the studio a few times a day.

I also like the social aspect of smoke breaks. The acting of smoking seems to chill out the smokers, so the conversations we have are nice and interesting. Sometimes we’ll continue to talk about work-related stuff but just because we’re outside makes it seem way better.

I believe non-smokers should come up with some sorta alternative break to smoking. Maybe we could have a doughnut break. There would be like three dudes standing around, just eating doughnuts. I’m going to work on that idea.

Lastly, the topic of the non-smoker being at the smoke break was explored in entire episode of Friends where Rachel had to join smokers outside for the sake of her career.

STUFF

If you happen to find yourself at the newest Elephant and Castle pub at Burrard and W. Pender, do consider the turkey cobb salad. I had one today and it was the tastiest salad I’ve had in a while. The turkey was tender and moist while the bacon bits were delicious.

Also, I finally get my hair cut again after more than six agonizing weeks. I look ridiculous with this hair. I would take pictures but there’s not enough room to stand that far back from the mirror.

BOB WONG, PARTY OF TWO

So on one of the evenings of my vacation in Hawaii, it was my turn to pick where to eat dinner. My traveling buddy John was gracious enough to let me decide. Ron, our newly married friend was going to join us later after our meal.

I chose Ciao Mein, an eatery that purported to skillfully mix Asian and Italian cuisines. Since I am Asian and John is Italian, it figured to be a safe choice. Ciao Mein is located in the Hyatt hotel right off Waikiki Beach. Upon finding the restaurant, the host asked me a series of questions. First, was if we had a reservation. No. They secondly asked what name they could put down for our table. I answered, without pause, with “Bob Wong”.

If you know me personally, you might already know that I give “Bob” or “Bob Wong” as a name whenever I’m asked for a moniker that’s purely for reference purposes. Such occasions include giving a name for take out food, table requests for restaurants, or orders of a non-food variety. The reason is quite simple. After decades of giving out my real name, I’ve just gotten tired of repeating myself at least once more, then having to spell it out, letter by letter. All of this effort, for what really? So someone can differentiate my order of twenty hot wings from some other dude’s calzone?

It didn’t used to be “Bob Wong”. At first, I had real fun just choosing different names. I remember I was once Rudiger but that didn’t really make it easier for the person on the phone. So over time, I evolved my “reference name” to something that was the easiest thing I could think of. The name had to be short, pronounceable, easy to spell, and easily distinguishable from other names. “Bob” was an obvious choice. Later, I encountered times where I was asked for a last name. I briefly toyed with choosing “Smith” but only in certain lighting conditions do I look like a “Bob Smith”. Using the same criteria, I chose “Wong”.

So here I was at Ciao Mein, having just given the host my name as “Bob Wong”. We were asked to wait as they needed to prepare our table. After a few short minutes, we were taken into the dining area. Once seated, our waiter for the evening came by to greet us.

“Hello Wong party, it will be my pleasure to serve you tonight.”

Dinner was uneventful, yet delicious nonetheless, with John and I choosing a set dinner course. If you’re ever in the area, their Petti Di Pollo is excellent. Anyways, when it came time to pay the bill, it was my turn since John had paid for a meal previously. As I pulled out my Visa card to pay, John reminded me of one thing.

“Your real and full name is on that Visa card.”

Hmmm… in all my years of using “Bob Wong” I had not encountered these exact set of circumstances, namely (no pun intended) using my credit card with a person that knew me as “Bob”. I looked into my wallet and I did have enough cash for the meal. I did, however, want to save my bills for strippers for convenience store runs over the next few days. I debated over it briefly before I came to the conclusion our waiter probably hadn’t really paid all that much attention to my name and probably wouldn’t pay attention to the name on my Visa card either. So with that, I gave my Visa to our waiter. Soon, he returned to our table with my card and the slip.

“Thank you Mr. Tang, I hope you have a pleasant evening.”

As he left our table, I had a blank expression on my face as this was the first and hopefully only time that “Bob Wong” had backfired on me. John thought it was pretty funny and wondered if this would wind up on the blog.

Since that evening at Ciao Mein, I have continued to use “Bob Wong” but I am now acutely aware of circumstances that limit Bob’s effectiveness.

BAD FOOD WEEKEND

While some people might have boozed up too much this long weekend, I am guilty of eating horrendously for the last three days.

On Friday evening, I had a regular prime rib dinner from The Keg. Keep in mind, I had the exact same thing just on Tuesday.

Then on Saturday, I had five awesome pieces of KFC chicken for dinner. On Sunday morning, I ate two more pieces of KFC chicken for breakfast. I kinda skipped lunch.

For Sunday dinner, I ate slabs of raw tuna and salmon. That might have been fine except that on my way home that evening, I got hungry and decided to patronize the A&W drive-through. I only wanted a single Teen Burger but the girl inside the tiny voice box convinced me to get two since it was two for $6. I went home and ate 1.5 Teen Burgers before I realized I was not respecting myself.

On Monday morning, I decided to skip both breakfast and lunch, instead I decided to consume two Powerbars. Then I went to play several hours of tennis which was good. Unfortunately, we wound up at a Ricky’s Diner afterwards where I had a strawberry milkshake which had a mountain of whipped cream on it. I didn’t finish it but that certainly didn’t help. For Monday dinner, it was my father’s birthday. We took him out to The Boathouse. I got a lobster tail, wild rice, and roasted vegetables. This all seems healthy but then I dipped the lobster in this amazing drawn butter. After all the lobster was gone, I dipped the remaining bread in the butter until it was all gone.

It’s gonna be all sushi and salads this week.