Category: Uncategorized

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO TV?!?!



Again, I’m watching TV late at night. I flip around on the dial and look at what I find. More stripper related material. Um, I really would like to make some witty comment about this, but I’ve had a long day. Let us just appreciate what gifts television brings us now.

FUNNY

It was a tradition I started the last time I was at school, and now I’ve done it again here. I’ve added a funny movie clip to the end of my voicemail greeting.

I won’t tell you which movie it’s from, suffice to say, it’s really quite interesting.

Well, on Thursday, I had my first caller leave a message with my new greeting. It was the hair salon calling about an appointment I had made. When I listened to their message, it was hilarious. There was about two seconds of dead silence before she started speaking. I started to laugh trying to imagine what was going through her mind.

If you want to know what’s on my greeting, you’ll have to phone me. Yeah, I know, it’s a cheap ploy to get more people to phone me…

Send me an e-mail if you want to know my new number.

FREE TV… IT KEEPS GETTING BETTER

So, it’s 2am in the morning and my fuzzy logic notes are causing me some consternation. I turn on the old TV and I’m flipping around. I get to good old channel 13 and there it is… some ad is on for something called TV stripper.com.

“What the hell is this?”, I think to myself. I watch in amazement as some well-endowed young lady dances around a pole. She looks as if, well as if she was a TV stripper. The whole dance goes on for about five minutes. She never does get fully naked, not even topless, but I guess that’s what the phone number is for. Though, the whole thing was quite titilating, especially if you’ve been reading about stupid mathematical concepts for the last hour. They say less is more sometimes, and I think they might be right.

I’m disturbed to say I watched like three more girls do their little tease of a dance before the paid advertisement was over. Honestly, I still have no idea how people are making money off of this thing (long-distance calls?) but it sure makes 2am go a lot faster.

A VERY SPECIAL BLOG?

I’m seriously considering putting up a new, hush-hush blog for people who I can trust. I had to erase a few entries from last week. Plus, I have this funny story I want to post, but I’m having second thoughts now. And, I won’t even get into that thing from early September.

It’s great now that a lot of people are reading, but I hate to think I’m censoring content. Before I’d put anything up because I knew no one was reading. Ha ha ha…

Hmmm… give me a few days to decide…

QUOTE OF THE NIGHT

Tonight, the Vancouver Canucks defeated the San Jose Sharks by a score of 5-2.

Mike Ricci, of the Sharks, and quite possibly the ugliest player in the league, was asked about his team’s poor performance. His response:

“There’s a thousand theories, but theories are for scientists,” Ricci said. “We’re too stupid for that. We’ve just got to get back to the X’s and O’s.”

Mike might not be the most attractive guy in the league, but he certainly has a sense of reality.

WELL, NOW IT’S OVER

Dear Lord, did I just get my ass kicked. What the hell was that?

I didn’t even get to finish the last question, which had about 30% of the marks. I knew I was in trouble when I was on the 2nd to last question still and there was less than 10 min. left. It took me nearly five minutes alone to read and understand the last question. By the end, I was in that freak-out mode where you’re just scribbling crap hoping to get part marks. The thought of getting the whole thing right is just out the window at this point.

The next thing I know, the exam is over. We pass our papers over. I was sitting next to my buddies for the exam. Chris turns to me and goes, “What the fuck was that?!?” Jonathan didn’t finish either.

While I’m still disappointed, my feelings are somewhat tempered by the fact I’m not alone in being displeased with the pacing of the exam.

Well, I’m going to Safeway now. Bacon here I come!

LET’S GET THIS OVER WITH

I’m about 15 hours from my first midterm in over five years. I have studied for the last six days for this. I should be ready, but the vibe I’m getting doesn’t feel right.

Some exams are easy. You know they’ll ask you for the definition of this or draw a diagram of that. Or, they’ll ask you questions which are very similar to those in the assignments.

This exam won’t be like that. The prof warned us there will not be any memorization required. Sure they’ll be a few diagrams needed, but these will be specific to the question asked, so you just can’t memorize something. As for assignments, they’ve been structured so that they are only somewhat applicable to the exam.

So where does this leave me? With a whole lot of potential for danger. This exam doesn’t follow the expected, straightforward nature that some profs use.

I could come back tomorrow and be extremely pleased with my performance, yet I could also come back cursing a forgotten concept that will cost me dearly. I just don’t know.

What I do know is that I’ll be glad to get this one underneath my belt, regardless of the outcome. Plus, I can go to Safeway after the exam and get some food.

CITYTV… GIVING WHAT THE COMMUNITY WANTS



Believe me, it was hard finding a shot where people weren’t naked

Let me make a public service announcement. You can now watch soft-core pornography on public, free television. Yeah, you heard me right. You know those movies you order at US hotels when you take a business trip to sell your shower curtains? The ones that cost like $12.95 a pop (get it? a pop… ha ha ha…)? That’s all free now.

City TV has decided to make every teenage boy (and perhaps even one grad student) in Vancouver happy they’re home watcing TV on Friday night. Every Friday at midnight, City TV puts on a soft-core porno. You won’t see an erect penis, but you’ll see plenty of enhanced breasts, flashes of frontal female nudity, and simulated sex.

Truly, we belong to the greatest civilization that this planet has ever witnessed.