AMAZING

Last night, shortly before I wanted to go to bed, I decided to grab a few corn chips from a bag that I had opened earlier. It was supposed to be a tiny snack to keep me from feeling hungry as I tried to sleep. In a display of excellence, I managed to get exactly two chips in my mouth in just the right orientation and position so that when I bit down, the chips were able to pinch the inside of my cheek. I experienced a sharp lightning bolt of pain before feeling the chips finally break into pieces and release my cheek flesh. How the hell is anyone this clumsy?

Still smarting from the pain, I stopped eating and drank some water. I was finishing up watching a YouTube video and when it ended, I moved my tongue over the area that had been pinched. I didn’t feel too much discomfort but what I definitely did feel was a bump, a pretty large one. I got up and went into my bathroom to look at a mirror to figure out what was going on in my mouth. The corn chip pinch had caused a sizable blood blister to appear. At this point, I had to chuckle at my amazing ability to get injured in such a stupid fashion. Anyone can just bite their own tongue or the inside of their mouth with their teeth but no, I managed to injure myself using two corn chips as weapons.

I wanted to pop the blood blister immediately but I then vaguely recalled reading that wasn’t the recommended action. Using everyone’s favourite doctor, I consulted the Internet and the prevailing advice was to leave it. The blister wasn’t causing me any pain so I left it. I was able to brush my teeth without it interfering. I went to bed hoping it wouldn’t pop while I slept. When I woke up, I went to look at the blister in the mirror and it was still there, the same size as before.

Because it didn’t hurt or get in the way of eating, I basically went about my day normally. I even forgot about it at one point. Once in a while, I’d slide my tongue over it just to see if it was there. I came home from work, ate dinner, and had a normal evening. About an hour ago, I went to look at it in the mirror again. It was gone. If it popped, I didn’t taste or feel it. You’d think I’d have tasted it or noticed a ball of blood exploding into my mouth but I did not. Maybe it just healed during the day and it went away on its own without popping? I can’t be sure.

I’m a bit concerned it did pop and infection might be a possibility. I swapped it with rubbing alcohol and it didn’t really hurt at all, so I’m guessing there are no exposed nerves. I guess that’s a good sign?

Anyways, I’m super tired and I want to get some sleep. Don’t be a moron and eat corn chips improperly like I did.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.