I KNOW YOUR NAME AND I CAN SEE YOU’RE POOPING

Like most of you, I sometimes use the bathroom during the day. On most days, you’ll find me at work. Depending on my mood and where I am, I’ll sometimes use different bathrooms. There’s a particular bathroom by the cafeteria that’s quite interesting. This bathroom has a row of urinals and at either end of the row is a stall. The stall on the right is very small, meaning the space between and toilet the stall walls is tiny.

Now sometimes when I walk into the bathroom, I’ll see the bottom of some dude’s legs in the tiny stall, doing his business. This in itself isn’t interesting, after all, with the exception of women, we all poop. The interesting bit is that the stall is really close to the urinal next to it. Because the stall is so tiny, the distance between the urinal and the toilet is probably three feet at best, most likely less than that. When you’re standing at that urinal and a dude is in the stall, it’s like you’re literally peeing next to a guy taking a dump. Now here’s where it gets weird.

Some dudes have their ID badges worn on their belt loops because they use badge reels. Our ID badges have our picture on it and our names. Now the same dudes who have their ID badges on their belts, sometimes pull their pants down to their ankles when they do their business in that tiny stall. Now stay with me here. That means that their picture and name are visible through the opening between the bottom of the stall wall and the bathroom floor. As you’re walking up to the far right urinal, you can sometimes get a clear look at the picture and name of the dude doing number two right next to you.

This raises some questions. First, why do some people push their pants all the way down to their ankles? Isn’t it far enough to put them down to your knees? Do you really need that much mobility while doing number two? Second, don’t they realize their badge is visible to everyone in the vicinity of the stall? Their photo is literally next to the floor. It’s basically like they are sliding mug shots of themselves from out underneath the stall. “I know you can’t see my face but here’s a head shot of me. Yep, that’s who’s in the stall. I had the butter chicken.”

I guarantee you won’t read another blog post today about the same subject matter.

One thought on “I KNOW YOUR NAME AND I CAN SEE YOU’RE POOPING”

  1. I don’t really know what to say to this… pooping isn’t all that big a deal. There must be some psychological/personal thrill in knowing who the person in the stall is.
    “Aw man! Jim is pooping!”
    It’s almost like a twitter syndrome, yes?

    I usually stay as far away from the stalls as possible. I don’t like to smell what someone else is doing.

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