ALL HANDS ON THE POOP DECK

I’m tired, so I’ll keep this short. Tonight will be my first night here at T-Bird. Most of my stuff is everywhere, still packed away. I have three pieces of Ikea furniture to put together. Earlier in the day, I went saw a doctor about my illness. She said it was almost certainly food poisoning. I’ve had food poisoning before, but by the spice mines of Kessel, I’ve never felt anything like this before. It’s turned my whole purpose in life into cramping and pooping.

She gave me the okay to take Imodium. Now you might be wondering why I didn’t take that from day one. Well, that’s because a few years ago, I saw this medical detective show on TV. It featured the story of a young boy who came down with food poisoning by eating improperly cooked ground beef. He got sick and his parents at first gave him anti-poop medicine. It turns out that made it even worse. He was eventually hospitalized and just when it seemed things were getting better, he developed a hole in his intestinal tract. This led to an infection that nearly killed him. While he survived, his immune system now operates at a much reduced capacity. A simple piece of hamburger will haunt him for the rest of his life.

Well, with that in the back of my mind, I waited for the doc to give me the green light. I started taking the Imodium in the late afternoon. It certainly has helped, but it hasn’t eliminated the problem yet. Now, instead of knowing I’ll definitely have to go every five minutes, it’s now only a possibility I’ll have to go every five minutes. I’m not out of the woods yet.

Alright, I gotta get some rest. If you see me on-campus and I walk right by you, pray that I make it to the can on-time.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.