WORK POOPS

I admit that over the years I’ve had to deal with varying degrees of anxiety over pooping at work. The problem in the past has stemmed by this odd reliance in North American work culture on the use of semi-private washroom stalls with massive gaps between doors, walls, and the floor. For some reason, in this continent, it became the norm to let people partially see that you were taking a dump.

Previously, I’ve been lucky enough to work at two studios that private, single-occupant washrooms. I actually quite enjoyed pooping at work in those places. For the longest time, however, the studio here in Burnaby was in short supply of private washrooms. That is until the new washrooms opened up in the newly renovated cafeteria. Before there were two standard washrooms, one for women and the other for the boys, all with the peep show stalls. Now that’s been replaced by a unisex washroom with a common sink area and a large number of private stalls. Each stall has a floor to ceiling thick wooden door. No stupid gaps between the floor and the door. The walls of the stall also are floor to ceiling, giving you complete privacy. It’s more like a room than a stall. Each stall also features individual exhaust systems to continuously pump in fresh air. To top it off, there’s a speaker on the ceiling that pipes in music, either for your enjoyment or to mask the horrendous sounds your colon is making. The lighting in there is also great, bright but not harsh. It’s really an oasis.

I take all my work poops in that washroom now and it’s really been quite enjoyable. There’s no hesitation or anxiety in the slightest. I love doing my business there. At first, when the washrooms were new, people weren’t sure what was in there so most of the stalls were free all day. Now, as word spreads, the popularity of the washroom can lead to busy times and fully occupied stalls. I’ve discovered that 1pm to 2pm can be busy time in there. You’ll want to go in the morning or later in the afternoon.

If you ever visit me at work, get me to show you this amazing place!

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