AN OFFER THAT I COULD REFUSE

On Saturday evening, I was returning home from a drinking establishment near my home. I had partaken in just one adult beverage and I was looking forward to going home, playing some video games, perhaps masturbating, and then going to bed. I was close enough to home that the walk back would just a few blocks. About a block away from my apartment building I noticed a lone, female figure walking towards me. The sidewalk was devoid of people except myself and her. I could see she was rather plain-looking and well into her 40s. She had a bit of a homeless vibe to her and looked a bit rough around the edges. I thought we were going to pass each other without incident but as she was about to walk by me, she asked me a single question.

Do you want to go on a date?

For those who aren’t well-versed in the street talk, this woman wasn’t asking me if I’d like to go to Starbucks and see what hobbies we have in common. She was propositioning me for an exchange of sex and money. I was rather taken aback and all I could do was smile awkwardly and say, “ah, no thanks”. I continued down the block and as I thought about it more, I involuntarily shivered momentarily. That would have been gross. The last time I was solicited by a streetwalker was when I was 23 years old. I was in Hawaii of all places, walking down the main tourist drag in Honolulu. It was a beautiful summer evening and I was minding my own business, strolling down the sidewalk. A rather attractive blonde appeared next to my side, flashed me a smile, and inquired about my interest in her services. I politely turned her down. Now, I guess I should mention that I was walking with my sister the entire time this was happening. Now, it wasn’t like she was on the other side of the street either. She was right next to me. It was clear as day I was walking with her and talking to her. Yet that pretty little Julia Roberts type had the audacious nature to proposition me next to me sister. You go girl!

Alas, let us return to much less tropical climates. My area of town isn’t well-known for street-walking prostitutes. The surrounding area is frequently patrolled by the police and in fact, the police station is just three blocks from my apartment. I think this was just an isolated case.

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