TALES FROM UNDERGRAD

I think about a year ago, I made some vague promise that I might blog about some of my experiences from my undergrad years. The Internet was just in its infancy when I was in university and we didn’t have blogging back then. It’s interesting to think how much blogging I would do back then if you could blog. In any case, I hope you enjoy an anecdote from my early days at UBC.

So when I was doing my undergrad degree I lived in on-campus housing the entire. From my first year all the way to the last I lived in various university residences. This story is from my second year. I was still living in a junior residence complex but as a proud second-year student, I now had a whole room to myself and I didn’t have to share with anyone. No longer a meek first-year student, I was happy to see that many of my previous housemates on the first floor had returned.

Now there was a group of second-year boys on my floor that got along really well. There four of them: Eric, Colin, Maestro (that wasn’t his real name but everyone called him by his nickname), and, Alain. At least I think it was only four, my memory is turning to crap these days. Anyways, when you live in residence at university, it’s really easy to hang with your buddies. These guys all lived on the same floor. They ate meals together. They hung around together after class and during the evenings. They stayed up late into the night talking about whatever. These boys had a lot of time to just chill and get to know each other.

It wouldn’t be much of a story if all they did was just debate political theory but of course, there was much more to it than that. The boys were always looking to have a bit of fun. They were mischievous and at times their fun wasn’t the clean and wholesome kind. Now I was friendly with everyone in the group but I wasn’t part of the group so that meant that I wasn’t privy to all the things they did or said. Some of the details of this story have been pieced together but the major details are truthful. There ain’t no BS about any of this.

As it was told to me, the gang was gathered in Maestro’s room one night and who knows what the hell there were talking about. Now Maestro had these large glass jugs in his room that I believe contained juice. I’m not sure where he bought them but he had several sitting there on the floor. These jugs were about the size of a moonshine jug, maybe a tad larger. As I later learned the boys noticed that Maestro had an empty jug in his room and he had not thrown it out yet. To this day, I still don’t know the complete rationale behind this but I do know what happened. Someone decided that everyone in the room should urinate into the empty glass jug. Again, I wasn’t in the room when this was happening so I don’t have the specifics of why. What I do know is that several of the boys, possibly all of them, did indeed pee into the jug.

Now there were unconfirmed reports that decided to collect all that pee because they needed it to conduct some nefarious prank of some sort. This may or may not be true but I never did get the full details. My memory is unclear but I don’t remember the boys having too many enemies at the time, at least not to the extreme that pee pranks would be involved. The details of “why” are unimportant because of the incident that occurred shortly after the peeing into the jug.

I am uncertain how much time passed or how many more urinations were placed into the jug. What I do know is that sometime after the jug had been peed into, the jug was placed onto Maestro’s desk. Someone then accidentally caused the jug to fall off the desk and then onto the thinly carpeted dorm room floor. The impact was enough to cause the glass jug to shatter and the pee splashed onto the carpet and I suppose the surrounding items in the vicinity.

I believe I didn’t find out about this until several days after the fact. I am unclear on what measures Maestro went to in order to clean his room and carpet. This was never revealed to me but I can’t imagine what the immediate aftermath was like. In any case, I do remember going into Maestro’s room shortly afterwards and then getting a warning from him that I probably shouldn’t be standing there with my stocking feet. It was only after that visit did I learn about the pee explosion.

Well, I hope you enjoyed what I hope will be the first of many tales from undergrad. Hey, are you using that empty container there?

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