THE ASIAN VERSION OF

I was shopping at one of the local T&T Supermarkets this evening when I noticed something interesting. There was this Asian dude in the produce department and he looked exactly like someone who works in the communications department at EA. They were both tall and skinny, had almost the exact same haircut, and more importantly, nearly identical facial features. The only major difference was the EA guy is Caucasian. So the produce guy was the Asian EA communications guy.

This isn’t the first time I’ve noticed something like this. In fact, just a few weeks ago, some new dude joined my team at work. This dude just happened to be Asian. When I saw him for the first time, I thought, “wow, this dude is the Asian Kevin Smith“. My new co-worker was also short and stocky, had the same haircut, and also wore glasses like Kevin does. Their facial features are also similar enough to make the resemblance quite easy to see. Last but not least, both dudes love wearing shorts.

Over the years, I’ve encountered many instances where I’ve seen the Asian version of other people. The very first instance that sticks out in my memory though occurred in 1997. Just days removed from my last exam of my undergrad degree, I was in Honolulu, Hawaii for a family vacation (the first in many years). My Mom loves going on tours of places she visits so she arranged for the whole family to be shuttled around in a van to see the various tourist sites. It was at one of these tourist hangouts that my sister and I spotted the Asian Burt Reynolds. The Asian Burt was a tour guide but not ours. He had his own group that he was showing around. Asian Burt had slightly wavy hair just like the real Burt did. He was also rocking some sunglasses. He wore a turquoise short-sleeved Hawaiian shirt and brilliant white pants. The kicker was his mustache though. It was as grand and thick as real Burt’s ‘stache. If I were a betting man, I’d wager five whole dollars that even Loni would have a hard time knowing which one belonged to who (no riding allowed). Both my sister and I observed Asian Burt at two different stops of the tour. He seemed to have the right attitude to back up his Bert look. He even chewed gum like the real Bert.

Asian Burt made quite an impression on my sister and I. He was more interesting at times than the actual places we had been driven too. We never saw Burt again after that, though my sister and I would speak about him in fond terms many years later. When I went back to Honolulu two years ago, I briefly wondered about what happened to Asian Burt. I didn’t track him down but I did get to touch some taxi driver’s head though.

4 thoughts on “THE ASIAN VERSION OF”

  1. Someone I know at EA, I’ll call him “Keith Chanstein”, calls himself the Asian Brad Pitt. Makes me laugh because the only part that’s accurate is the Asian part. (He knows it.)

    A guy I currently work with was labeled by our receptionist as, for reasons nobody (including him) knows, “The Ron Jeremy of Asia”. He doesn’t resemble Ron Jeremy, and he’s not Asian.

  2. “The Ron Jeremy of Asia”? Either the dude must be tubby and have a mustache or he has a large weiner.

  3. Damn…That was tom Selleck, not Reynolds…getting my 80’s-90s mustache-themed tv shows mixed up. Maybe he had his own Asian Evan Evans

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