LADIES, IT'S TIME TO SETTLE FOR A GUY LIKE ME

Loyal readers, I wrote this post for all those females out there who are over thirty years of age and still single. Ladies, listen up. You and I aren’t so different. Since our twenties, we’ve been looking for that perfect partner. The one person we were destined to be with. The one person you could spend the rest of your life with and be happy.

Let’s be honest now. You (and I) aren’t getting any younger. You’re over thirty now and your prince hasn’t shown up on your doorstep yet. While you were once in your 20s, those nubile and young ladies are now your competition. Do you have a checklist for your perfect man? Probably. Now every woman is different, so you could be looking for any combination of sexy, handsome, dependable, intelligent, funny, manly, large penis, good cook, rich, handy around house, thoughtful, eats cheese, has orange tan, and so on. I’m here to tell you, it’s probably time to be a little more realistic. The odds of you finding a man that fits everyone of your storybook desires is getting smaller and smaller. I’m not saying that to be mean or anything. Are you wondering where I’m getting such crazy ideas? That’s a great question.

I present to you one Lori Gottleib, author of Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough. Gottlieb’s book basically is a warning to women that are quickly approaching forty should take a serious and long look at how realistic their expectations are for a husband. She suggests that women settle for a relatively decent guy than holding out for an unrealistic expectation. Gottlieb cautions that the longer women wait before settling, the lower their odds are for finding anyone.

If you don’t believe me, read her book or this article about her. I’ll try to extract some highlights for you.

Gottlieb wrote of her “deep regret at having passed on all the nice guys in her thirties in the search for allconsuming love.” Sound familiar? Let me continue.

“many single women get to a state of desperation in searching for a husband because they don’t make wise decisions early on, such as dating dependable men rather than handsome cads” Oh dear, you mean bad boys aren’t marriage material? Groundbreaking.

“Based on my observations, settling will probably make you happier in the long run, since many of those who marry with great expectations become more disillusioned with each passing year.” That quote would make a great CafePress t-shirt.

“Feminism gave women this sense of entitlement that we deserve someone who’s perfect. And then we meet the so-called perfect guy and he’s out of our league and has no interest in us and we tell our girlfriends, ‘He must be secretly gay’ when in fact he’s just really not that into us.” Read that once more just so you understand that clearly.

Ok, I could quote more but then the whole article would be here. So ladies, I know a guy like me may not be perfect but you’re running out of options! It’s either me or start buying cats now. Hey, I’m not so bad. I may not look like Brad Pitt but we can watch his movies together. I also may not be rich like Bill Gates but I’d super-size your order, my treat, anytime we go for fast food (and that would be often). You can guarantee I would never cheat on you like that Tiger Woods dude did. Chances are you’d be out of my league in any previous situation so I’d feel like I’d won the lottery with you!

So how about it ladies? That baby-maker of yours has an expiry date and it ain’t that far away. The sooner we have little Obi-wan and Jenny, the sooner we can think about our retirement cruise. Let me know if I can buy you dinner at Uncle Willy’s!