Friday night’s Sleep Report is brought to you by Josten’s. Take pride in your achievements and think Josten’s!
I stayed up until 4am reading random Wikipedia articles. The last thing I read was on James Dyson, the successful British inventor, known mostly for his cyclone vacuums. It’d be weird if he made Cylon vacuums.
After crawling to bed, I fell asleep almost immdiately. I awoke at 10am. Using integrals, I discovered I had accumulated only six hours of sleep. This was not enough. My bladder was full though, so I arose to urinate into the nearest toilet. After doing so, I return to my bed. I was completely awake. Not believing that six hours was enough rest, I tried going back to asleep. I managed to fall asleep again and awoke at 12:30pm.
Total sleep time was approximately 8 hours. This has been your sleep report.