THE TRIP OF HIS LIFETIME

It’s less than two weeks before Christmas and I’m chatting over MSN with my friend, let’s call him “Don”. Don tells me his company is sending him to CES in Las Vegas for business. Don works in the high-tech industry for a hardware manufacturer somewhere in the Lower Mainland.

CES? My virtual ears perk up. Partially because CES is the largest consumer electronics show in the world but mainly for another reason. It’s a suspicion which I go to Google to check. I am right. I tell Don my findings.

“So you know that CES is held at the same time as the Adult Entertainment Expo right?”

There’s a flurry of excitement on Don’s end as he checks schedules and hotel bookings. Don is far from a pervert running around in a raincoat but he’s a got a healthy appreciation for hetero porn. I accept that part of him and respect his interests.

Returning from his checks, Don informs me that his trip will partially overlap the AEE by about two days. Within the hour, we’ve figured out how to buy him a ticket. It’s all set. Don is scheduled to attend the largest and most influential adult entertaiment convention in the world.

Over the holidays, I coach Don on what he needs to bring and do at the AEE. Digital camera? A must. Memory cards? Several gigs worth. Batteries? Enough juice to power the Strip. I stress to him since I won’t be there, his pictures and possibly videos are the only thing he’ll be able to share with me. Like an attentive pupil, Don soaks in my mentoring.

The second week of January arrives and Don is off to Vegas for business and, hopefully, a whole lot of picture taking. Before he goes, I bid farewell to him on MSN. I wish him well and I tell him I know he’s going to make me proud.

Several days pass as Don does his work at the CES. Then, the magical day arrives. It’s about 11am and I’m at work with an Xbox 360 controller in my hands. My cell phone rings. It’s Don calling from Vegas. He tells me he’s in line to enter the convention centre at the AEE. I hear nervous excitement in his voice. He says he’s minutes away from getting in. I wish him well and remind him to take lots of photos. We end the call.

Just after noon, I get my first of a series of text messages from Don. The first one reads:

“I just met Jenna Haze!”

Ms. Haze is a big favourite of Don’s, so this was a real treat for him. Less than an hour later, I get another message:

“This is the greatest day of my life”

Wow, you can’t beat that. How often does one get to say that? Ten minutes later, I receive my final text message from the AEE:

“I am about to meet Tera Patrick omg omg omg”

Ms. Patrick is another favourite of Don’s and also a superstar in the porn world. That’s the last I hear from Don at the AEE. The next day, Don is sporadically on MSN as he utilizes the hotel Internet connection. We don’t have long but he tells me he’ll be home sometime on Saturday.

On the weekend, I get a smattering of his pictures from the convention floor. We agree to have dinner on Wednesday night where he’ll give me a complete summary of the trip plus a DVD with his photos. I am also told he has a goodie bag for me.

On appointed evening, we meet at an undisclosed location for dinner. I get Don to lay it all out in great detail. In short, Don tells me it was a life changing experience. Everywhere you looked, there were hot porn stars. He said it was kinda depressing to go back to work where everyone wasn’t a hot porn star. Don mentioned it was extremely cool to see performers in person that he’d been um, “downloading” for years. It was also interesting to see that most female peformers are rather short. Don isn’t a super tall guy but he said he towered over several ladies.

In general, he had a great time and plans on going again next year, and he wants me to go with him! Don then took out my goodie bag, which I opened right there at Denny’s. In a large white envelope was an oversized t-shirt advertising for Vengeance XXX DVDs. Neat, something I can’t wear anywhere in my life. Don also got me two free sampler DVDs. One was from a company called Pink Visual and the other was from Digital Sin. I also got two blue condoms which had packaging promoting some company. There was also a hefty program guide from the convention. It’s a real treat to read. Last but not least, Don got me an autographed photo from Katsumi, one of Don’s all-time favourite female performers.

He was also nice enough to burn his photos and videos onto a DVD. I have received permission from Don to post select photos and a video on my site. To maintain his privacy, I covered his face in some photos. Before I supply the link to the gallery, I must mention you might want to think about if this is the kinda thing you want to be looking at work. While there is no outright nudity in the photos (it’s not allowed on the convention floor), the photos do show large screen LCDs which are playing porn flicks in the background. To be honest, I think I might have seen one nipple at worst. Anyways, you can find the gallery here. Be on the lookout for Don’s photos of Jenna Jameson and Larry Flynt. The video is the last item on the last page.

Thanks to Don for making the trip and sharing his materials with me and you, my readers!

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