So I had an interesting Saturday evening. It started off when I went to dinner with my friend Chris. Both of us started as testers at EA about the same time. I left to go to grad school but he stayed on and now he’s a test manager. Chris and his wife now live in Port Coquitlam, so we’ve been meaning to go out for dinner for a while now.

Debbie didn’t join us because she was having a girls night over at their house. That left Chris and I to go to the Earl’s in Port Coquitlam. I had the chicken curry with naan bread and it was awesome. Anyways, near the tail end of dinner, a table of about fifteen people arrive and get seated about twenty feet behind us. The group looked like they were all in their early 20s. I also noticed some sketchy looking guys in the group. One buff guy was strutting around in a white jogging suit, talking on his cell phone and chatting up the waitresses. Keep this guy in mind for later.

A few minutes after that group was seated, there was a loud disturbance coming from their table. There was also some yelling. Half the restaurant on our side seemed to stop what they were doing to look over. By the time, I looked behind me, I didn’t see what the commotion was all about. Little did I know whatever it was, the restaurant staff was concerned enough that they called the RCMP.

Not long after, a huge RCMP officer strides into the restaurant and goes directly to the big table behind me. He was all business and went right to the end of the table to the jogging suit guy.

“You, you’re under arrest. Get up and turn around.”

The jogging suit guy looked surprised but he got up anyways and faced the officer.

“Turn around now!”

The tension was palpable at this point. Jogging suit guy paused for a second and then turned around and placed his hands behind him. The officer then cuffed him and said something into his radio. Not ten seconds afterwards, two more large RCMP officers strode into the restaurant and stood next to their colleague. The first officer motioned to the end of the table.

“That guy at the end. Take him.”

The first officer then hustled the jogging suit guy away from the table and out of the restaurant. The two remaining officers walked over to this tall, skinny guy who was sitting next to the first guy. Skinny guy couldn’t believe what was going on. The two officers each grabbed an arm and began moving him away. He started to resist, so the two officers had to forcefully get him back in line. They stopped him briefly and warned him not to resist again or he’d be very sorry. He got the message and he was also led out of the restaurant.

This was all very entertaining for the staff and the customers of the restaurants. Through the window, I could see more police cruisers pull up with their lights on. Eventually, they all drove off, presumably with the offenders in the backseats. The remaining people in the table behind us left about ten minutes after the RCMP left. I don’t think they were there even 30 minutes.

The rest of our dinner proceeded without incident. After I drove home, I thought that’d probably be the only police interaction I’d have for the evening. I was wrong.

After watching SNL, I was playing video games until shortly before 2am. After getting mowed down by the same MG42 emplacement three times in a row, I decided I probably needed a break to rethink my strategy. I got up to get a drink when I heard this loud knocking on my front door. Who could that be? No one knows where I live.

I cautiously made my way downstairs to the front door. I fumbled with the light switches to get the exterior light to turn on. When I did turn it on, I opened the blinds on the front door and peered out. I saw two Port Moody police officers standing outside the door. I opened the door.

“Um, yes?”

“We got a call that there was some trouble here?”

“Um, no. I’m all alone and I didn’t make any call. I’ve been playing video games for the last hour or so.”

I gave him my address to confirm that they had gotten the right place.

“Yeah, that’s what we got on the report. May we come in and look around?”

Well, there was no way I could say no to these cops, so I let them in. They both stepped into the foyer area and closed the door. One of them radioed in to confirm the address. We all waited for dispatch to respond. I was now painfully aware I was wearing mismatched PJ tops and bottoms. My top was also open, revealing my super comfortable but equally ratty sleep shirt. It was torn in several places at the collar and there was a mysterious stain on the front. Damn, I thought.

Finally through his earpiece, I could hear the dispatcher replying to the officer. A slight smile appeared on his face and he turned to me.

“My apologies, we’re one street over where we’re supposed to be. I’m sorry.”

They turned to open the door and they were gone. One street over? How the hell do you screw that up? I’m theorizing that they actually got the street right but got the number wrong. I live in a townhouse/apartment complex that has two buildings. Each building is almost an exact mirror of the other. I bet they got the wrong building and really were supposed to be on the parallel universe on the other side.

After returning to my computer, I noticed the front flap on my PJ bottoms had been undone the entire time and I’m pretty sure one of the officers could see my underwear the entire time he was talking to me. Damn.

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