FINAL EXAM

I have just come back from writing my final exam for MECH 550A. I have had more pleasant ways to spend 2.5 hours.

The first sign of trouble appeared even before the start of the exam. My prof handed out the exams and each of us got a little white tube of something. It was a tube of K-Y Jelly.

“You’ll be needing that during the exam so your ass doesn’t get too sore.”

Ok, so maybe he didn’t hand out the K-Y, but he sure as hell probably should have. The damn thing was hard. He said that there should be one mark per minute, so if a question had five marks, you should spending five minutes on it. The first question was worth four marks. I finished it in twelve. Little did I know that would be the only highlight of the exam.

It was all downhill after that. I knew about half way through I wasn’t going to finish. Then a girl in my class asked if we could extend the exam till 3pm, making it a three hour exam. I was thinking, “No way, let’s just end this anal reaming early, cut our losses and go home.”

Thankfully, my prof said no and we continued on. With about ten minutes left, he asked if any one would object to extending the exam another 15 minutes. I almost did, but I didn’t want to be the single wanker that screws it up for everyone else. I must have looked a bit annoyed because my prof asked me if I objected.

“Well no, but I don’t think another fifteen minutes is gonna matter whole lot at this point. I’ll probably use the extra fifteen minutes to think about what products I’d like to purchase in the future.”

That got a laugh, but I was actually serious. Anyways, that fifteen minutes flew by and I managed to get a pretty decent multi-panel handrawn Archie comic on the back of one exam paper. I had Jughead running to the mall to enter a burger eating contest. That crazy Jughead.

When it was all over, it was clear everyone had the same amount of trouble. The question will be, who sucked on this exam the least? I can tell you, it was not me.

If that wasn’t enough, I have a ten page report due tomorrow in this class as well. I have five pages written already, but I don’t feel like doing a great job on the last five after this exam.

It’s 3:30pm and I’ve decided I’m not touching that paper until after dinner. Here’s to three plus hours of relaxation.

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