OH DEAR

I should be super relaxed right now with no responsibilities to speak of. Unfortunately, that is not the case.

I am going in for dental surgery tomorrow. I’m having what’s called a “gum re-sectioning”. Usually, when I have medical procedures done to me, I’m quite enthusiastic about finding more info about it on the Internet so that I’m more informed about what will be done to me.

The way the periodontist explained it to me, however, was enough to stop me from gathering more info. Basically what is happening with one of my teeth is that I have formed a periodontal pocket around it. It’s essentially a deep open cavity in between the tooth and the gum. Paraphrasing, this is what he’s going to do to me… “Erwin, I’m going to peel back the gum, clean out the pocket and the root of the tooth, and then re-seal the gum tightly around the tooth again…”

One should immediately take notice of the phrase “peel back the gum”. There are very few parts of the body that you can “peel back” without considerable pain and discomfort. Gums just don’t “peel back”. I take it he’s going to use a scalpel of some sort to make an incision, to form two flaps out of the gum area, and that’s what he’s going to “peel back”. Gums bleed like a sonuvabitch, so I can’t imagine this being pretty to watch. “Cleaning out the pocket and root” is another dandy of the phrase. I bet he isn’t going to exactly be using a soft cloth to do this. I’m guessing “cleaning” and “scraping” could be used interchangably here.

Of course after he does all this, he’s going to stitch the “flaps” back together to make that “seal” he was talking about.

Here’s what I know is going to happen. The whole thing will take only an hour from when I sit down to when I leave. Considering the prep work and the stitching me up, I guess that’s alright. I think root canals take just as long, if not longer. I’m also not going under for the procedure. I think it’s kinda dumb for people to go unconscious for these type of things. When you do, you’re subjecting your body to a double-whammy. Not only does it have to deal with whatever is going on with your mouth, you also have to deal with whatever gas, chemical, and/or drug that made you go under.

When I had my wisdom teeth out, I only had a local. As soon as he said I was done, I hopped out of the chair and was gone. My sister on the other hand, decided to go under and had to wait in the recovering room for almost an hour. When she woke up, she was quite groggy still.

Well, if this thing wasn’t a whole barrel of laughs in the first place, I picked a super day for it. Tomorrow night (the night of the 29th) is when SJC is having our year-end party. We’re having events starting from 5pm on. Dinner is going to extra special since we’re having cheesburgers for the first time that I’ve seen. Of course, I’ll be sitting there drinking my craptacular meal replacement shake as everyone else eats their homemade burgers. At 9pm there’s going to be a multimedia presentation showing pictures and videos from the year past. After that, there’s going to be a bar, music, and dancing.

My parents wanted me to go home to their place after the procedure, but I said I’d be an idiot to miss the party. So come hell or high water, excruciating pain or Tylenol-3 induced euphoria, I’ll be there.

My long term worry is that I can’t eat solid foods for quite a while. These meal replacement shakes are supposed to be well, “meal replacements”, but I wonder if they’re going to filling. I’m hypoglycemic, so I’m very susceptible to low blood sugar. I wonder if I’ll be eating soft candy a lot.

So there you have it. I’m in for some big time fun for the next several days. You know, several days after I found out I needed this procedure, Brendan Shanahan did a number of Brendan Morrison’s mouth. He lost like three teeth, had a tooth pierce his cheek, suffered gum damage, and was given a whole lotta hurtin’. At the time, I thought, hey, my little procedure doesn’t seem so bad. Now I’m thinking, what the hell? The club probably paid for his dental work, he makes more money than I ever will, and he’s got a great wife (Trenouth met her once apparently). Yeah sure, in terms of just dental procedures I’m gettin the better deal, but what about the big picture? Ha ha ha…

Man, I’m going to have the best lunch ever tomorrow before my appointment!