THOSE DAMN WORMS

Those UBC worms are back, just like they do every year. If you’ve ever been to UBC in the fall, you’ll know what I’m talking about.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, I’ll try to describe it. I’m no entomologist, but these worms are about 5mm to 10mm long. They’re yellow. These worms can be mostly found on the tree-lined Main Mall, which happens to be the most used pedestrian walkway on campus. The worms hang from the trees on a thin strand of filament. Think of them as nasty Christmas tree ornaments.

My theory is that the worms are banking on people or animals to make contact with them and then carry them away to other areas to breed. Either that, or they’re waiting for a breeze to carry them off, like baby spiders do.

It’s still early in the season, but I’m hoping the worms aren’t as prevalent as in past years. Let’s hope UBC has done something about them. When I was in undergrad, during September/October, the worms basically made it impossible to walk along Main Mall. Every where you walked you were trying to dodge tiny little yellow worms swaying in the wind. It was disgusting.

I remember one time, I was sitting in class when I looked at the person in front of me. He had the misfortune of walking into one of these worms. It had landed on his hair which was kind of poofy, so he couldn’t feel it. This little yellow worm was wiggling and writhing on his hair. It made me shudder in horror. It was straight out of Wrath of Khan, you know when Chekov get implanted by that thing? Anyways, I was so grossed out, I couldn’t bear to tell this guy.

These damn things are back, and I hope to hell I don’t get any on me. Does anyone know the real name for them?

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