FIREWORKS FOLLIES

Sorry for the lack of posts lately. I was back at my parents’ place for a bit of the weekend.

So, after an absence of three years, I went and saw the fireworks on Saturday. Last year, I was just too tired of fighting the crowds to go. The other two years? I was working for EA at the time, and in late July / early August, I was just pulling out of the employee lot at 10pm on Wednesdays and Saturdays.

This year, I decided to go because we knew someone who lived right near English Bay. On Saturday, Rhonda, Bryan, Sarah, and myself trekked down to the West End, and met up with Jenny. Jenny is Rhonda’s friend who has an apartment right near Denman and Davie. We arrived at the beach directly in front of the barge at around 8:30pm or so. There were already a lot of people there. All of us made our way along the crowd for a few minutes and then we found a perfect spot right at the front, directly in front of the water. From where the seaweed had accumulated, it looked like that we were right before where high tide was.

Spreading out mats, we made ourselves comfortable. Jenny had bought cupcakes from the cupcake store on Denman. I had heard about this place from Rhonda, but this was the first time I had a chance to try their wares. I had a chocolate walnut cupcake. It was good, but probably contained 150% more sugar than I really needed. After our feast of sugar was completed, Rhonda broke out the deck of the cards. I was then taught how to play Hearts and Asshole. We played a game of each. I will say that I prefer the game of Hearts.

After we played cards, Jenny went back to her place to put some jeans on. It was getting pretty dark by then. About ten minutes to ten, these three adults and one kid came out of nowhere and plopped down right in front of us. Rhonda and I looked at each other with this look of annoyance.

“Should we tell them that the tide will be coming up right where they’re sitting?” she said to me.

“Nah, I believe in self-learning,” I replied.

Sure enough, less than two minutes later, the tide came rushing up and covered their shoes with water. They all scrambled out of the way, and more importantly, out of our way, leaving us with an unobstructed view again. The kid, though, stuck with it, and started building this sand dam with his bare hands. He kept digging and packing sand in front of him to hold back the unrelenting tide.

By this time, Jenny had come back and the show was just about to begin. The kid kept on digging though. The fireworks finally started and everyone looked skyward, everyone except the kid. He continued to build his sand wall for 25 minutes, only infrequently looking at the show.

When the show was over, there was nothing for us to do but wait for the people behind us to clear out first. This was when the urination started. We watched as a whole line of guys made their way right in front of us and just whizzed directly into the ocean. Meanwhile, a helicopter started patrolling the shoreline, and beamed this huge spotlight on the beach. It highlighted several the urinators for all to see.

The real kicker when this teenaged girl came down to the water with her boyfriend. I wouldn’t have even noticed her except for the fact she announced to everyone within earshot, “I’m sorry, but I have to go to the bathroom soooooo bad!”

We all turned to look at her and without any hesitation, she whipped down her hip-hugger jeans and panties, did this half-squat, and started peeing into the ocean. Now ya might be thinking it’d be better to watch a girl take a leak than a whole line of guys, but you’d be wrong. I was just embarassed for her. With the guys, they’re just standing with their backs to you, whizzing into the wind. With the girl, no one looks good in a half-squat, with their pants and panties halfway down their legs. Anyways, while this is happening, her boyfriend is standing by idly. “That’s my girl!” he was probably thinking.

After that was all over, it took us about five minutes to get back to Jenny’s. We made tea, talked, and flipped through the new Ikea catalogue. Meanwhile, through the open windows in the living window, we heard the sirens, cops, and throngs of people walking up the street.

We waited a while before leaving, grabbed a bus on Granville, and got back around 12:30am. Overall, I didn’t have to fight any crowds and it was a pleasant evening.

That’s the way to see fireworks.