HOVER HANDS

I’d like to introduce a phenomenon to you, my loyal readers, that you might not know about. It’s something that appeared on the Internet in the last few months and the name for it is “hover hands”. It’s a situation that usually involves a male who is posing for a picture with one or more females. Invariably, it’s readily apparent to everyone that the female is much more physically attractive than the male. Examples of such situations occur frequently at science fiction conventions where geeky males like myself pose for pictures with the female stars of their favourite shows.

Now that might seem innocent enough but the phenomenon manifests itself as the male is posing with the female. The male appears to have enough confidence to put his hand around the shoulder or waist of the female but at the very last second, he ultimately comes up short and does not make actual physical contact with the hand. The resulting awkward pose causes the male’s hand to “hover” just mere inches away from the attractive female but never making full contact with her skin or clothing. The classic example of a “hover hand” occurred when the lovely Summer Glau posed for pictures with fans during a convention in the summer of 2010 (no pun intended). If you click here, you can see examples of this.

I wonder what the thought process is for the male during a “hover hand”. I’m guessing that they understand that it’s a photo opportunity and it’s their chance to have a short, personal moment with someone they’re interested in. So they go in with the arm and the hand. I believe at this point that another part of their brain then kicks in. They realize that this female is more foxy than virtually any other female he’s been around in ages. That alone might prevent him from making full contact. He probably believes he’s not worthy enough to actually touch a girl that hot, even if it’s just a hand on the waist for a few seconds for a picture. I also think that some dudes are trying to not to be creepy. They’re probably trying to keep the young lady in mind and not touching her out of respect for her own personal boundaries. I suppose in that case, their heart is in the right place.

Unfortunately, whatever the reason, they wind up looking like a dork. Here’s my opinion on the whole thing. If you’re gonna do the whole arm around the girl thing, you gotta go all the way. Put your hand on her waist or her shoulder. It’s not like you’re grabbing her boob or anything. It’s also for a picture, which lasts less than ten seconds. If she doesn’t want you to touch her, she’ll tell you and if she does, it will probably be before the picture is taken, not during. If I had the chance to meet Ms. Glau for a picture, you can bet I wouldn’t stop my hand five picometers from her waist or shoulder. Now alternatively, if you don’t think you can comfortably touch the lady with your hand, then don’t go in with the arm at all. Now since it’s a picture, it kinda looks lame if you just keep your hands at your sides, so just doing something with your arms and hands. A good old standby is the old six-shooter hands. There are perfectly good ways to pose for a picture without having “hover” over the hot ladies around you.

Well, I hope you learned something today and if you’re interested in seeing many more “hover hand” pictures, click here.