DIARRHEA WATCH

Yesterday I bought some grapes and took them home. In the evening, I took a bunch and placed them in a bowl and carefully washed them (at least I thought I did). Some people just eat fruit without washing it but I think that’s dumb. Anyways, I drained the bowl of water and put the grapes back in the fridge for about twenty minutes so that they would be nice and cool again.

I took the bowl out and ate the grapes. They were sweet and delicious and I was really glad I bought them. About an hour and a half later, I felt some rumblings down there. It was a good thing I was at home at the time because I had your classic case of diarrhea. It wasn’t urgent though. It was almost as if my digestive system was saying, “Hey, you might be noticing everything isn’t exactly ok down here but there’s no rush, so you won’t be feeling cramps or gas or any of that funny stuff you see in movies. You’ll probably want to take care of it sooner or later but there’s no need to drop whatever you’re doing right now.”

Sure enough, I was able to watch about fifteen minutes of YouTube videos in relative comfort before I decided I probably should take care of things before they escalated. I will say that what occurred in the bathroom had almost no correlation to how urgent it felt beforehand. It was one of those “under promise and over deliver” situations, if you will. I was almost shocked at what transpired in there. I won’t go into the details but it was one of those situations where you feel like you need to shower immediately right afterwards. Wow.

Now they say, they being smart people, that it takes hours before something makes you ill so that if you eat something and you start to have problems, it was probably something you ate earlier in the day. I don’t think my body works like. My digestive system is very sensitive and if I eat something dodgy, it can take less than thirty minutes for the fireworks to happen. I’m positive my diarrhea episode on Saturday was because of the grapes.

Interestingly, this experience did not sour me on those grapes. I washed another bunch this evening and ate some more. It’s been almost two hours now since that happened and I don’t detect anything out of the ordinary. I think it maybe safe for me to go to bed now. Wish me luck!

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