After not driving my car for about two weeks, I had to run an errand on Saturday that required a vehicle. When I arrived at my car, I found that it had three large bird poop stains right on the driver side window. This wouldn’t be much of surprise if my parking spot was outside and under a tree. My spot, however, is in an above ground parking garage that is covered. Mind you the parking structure is open to the outside, much like most commercial multi-story parking garages are. So there is ample room for a bird to fly into the structure.

Upon finding my feces covered window, I looked above the window to see if there was an artificial perch from which a bird had defecated. There was indeed a pipe that ran close to my car but there were two things that made me skeptical. First, the pipe was not directly over the stain. It was offset about three feet or so, enough that you’d expect the stain to be in the middle of the roof. Second, the clearance between the pipe and concrete ceiling of the parkade was quite small. While technically yes, a small bird could fit in that space, the three large stains suggested a bird of a much larger stature had emptied his or her bowels on my car.

As I was in a rush, I had no further time to ponder this mystery and had to depart. As a testament to my laziness, I still haven’t cleaned the stain off.

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