SELF INSOMNIA

Last night, like many nights, I crawled into bed, grabbed my tablet and looked at non-porn things for a few minutes before I got really sleepy. I proceeded to put my tablet on my nightstand, closed my eyes, and fell asleep. Some time later, I snapped awake because of what I perceived to be sound near my head. Previously, I’ve had cases where I’ve woken myself through snoring or even possibly farting. So I wasn’t sure if I had caused the noise myself or if I had imagined the noise since I was half-asleep still. It really sounded like the noise had come from a corner of the bed near the wall though. To satisfy my curiosity, I got up, turned on the lights, and looked for what could have caused the noise. I looked on the bed and under the bed but couldn’t see anything. Whatever had caused the noise, if it had even been a real noise, was not in sight.

I turned off the lights and went back to bed. Unfortunately, I was now wide awake and I had probably slept less than 30 minutes. I briefly thought about taking a sleep pill but I’ve been trying real hard not to rely on drugs to get me to sleep. So I stubbornly just waited for sleep to come. Ten minutes of tossing and turning didn’t do anything so I got up, urinated, got a drink of water, and grabbed my tablet again. I turned the brightness all the way down as to not trick my brain into thinking it was daylight. I even made sure the Kindle app I was using had a black background on white text.

So there I was reading All You Need Is Kill, hoping that fatigue would wash over me again like it had only an hour ago. It didn’t however and the book got very interesting, so I kept on reading. By now I knew that I had cut into my sleeping time enough that I would be tired tomorrow. The words kept on flowing though and one chapter became the next. I looked outside and it was still dark but that would probably not be the case for much longer. I had to do something. I got up, urinated, drank some water, and broke a sleeping pill in half and swallowed that. It was a compromise I had to take. I retreated back to bed and kept on reading. Soon, the words came slower and the fatigue I wished to feel earlier came back. I put down my tablet again and feel asleep.

When my alarm went off in the morning, getting up and going to work was something my body really did not want to do. I laid in bed and I briefly considering going in later and getting more sleep. I sucked it up though and hauled my sorry ass to work. I was fine for most of the day until around 4pm when my body decided it had enough. I was forced to make a coffee, French vanilla for those scoring at home, which allowed me cross the finish line.

I’m not sure what the lesson is to be learned here. Sleeping pills are the way to go? Don’t go investigating perceived strange noises in your bedroom?

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