TOP FIVE THINGS I PLAN ON DOING WHILE UNEMPLOYED

5. Avoid all my parents’ friends to prevent further shaming of my family.

4. Attempt to eat a 5 lb block of Limburger cheese and nothing else for an entire week.

3. Reconnect with my seniors mall walking group at Metrotown. Metro-Tee Grey Foxes in da house!

2. Gain hope that being unemployed will finally make me less attractive to women and thus prevent me from being hit on all the time.

1. Lindsay Lohan

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