Stand-up comedians are an interesting lot. It’s a fascinating occupation with a long history. They have their own lingo, ways of doing things, and superstitions. Some stuff they keep within their own circles, rarely letting the public in on the secret. One such example is “The Aristocrats”.

What exactly is the “The Aristocrats”? I actually didn’t know until about two months ago. “The Aristocrats” lies somewhere between an inside “joke” and a competition for comedians. The basic premise begins like this: a comedian must start off the joke with a family visiting a talent agent to show off their act. After this, the comedian is free to improvise whatever he or she dream up. The goal is produce the most rude, disgusting, politically incorrect description of the family act. The end is constrained with the family calling the act, “The Aristocrats”. It is the common beginning and end that binds every comedian’s version together with everyone else’s.

Apparently, this little inside joke has been around for decades, passing from one comedian to the next. “The Aristocrats” however, will not be a secret for much longer. Comedians Paul Provenza and Penn Jillette have made an entire movie based on this premise. In his film, they’ve asked about 100 comedians to give their take on “The Aristocrats”. Participants include Drew Carey, Jason Alexander, Lewis Black, Tim Conway, Andy Dick, Carrie Fisher, and many more.

The trailer for “The Aristocrats” can be seen here. Worry not, the trailer contains not even single objectionable syllable, so feel free to view it at work.

What is not safe to view at work is the leaked version of the joke from the South Park guys, Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Not surprisingly, they framed the joke around their most famous creations, the boys from the South Park cartoons. Before I give out the link, I cannot stress how utterly inappropriate this clip is for work environments. There’s no nudity, but the words coming out of Cartman’s mouth is worse than anything you’ve probably heard anyone say. I’m serious, if you’re a sensitive type of person, it’s best you sit this one out. Let me say this again, unless you’ve got the most liberal work environment in the world, don’t view the clip at work. Ok, so here we go…

The South Park take on “The Aristocrats”

As bad as the South Park version is, I’ve read that among the other versions in the movie, it doesn’t even crack the top five in terms of shock. Wow. The Aristocrats opens on August 12, 2005.

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