I just finished writing a moderately long post about how my desk chair is wobbly right now. As I went over it, I thought, what a bunch of crap, no one wants to read that. It took me five paragraphs to write my chair is broken. That can’t be the most interesting thing to happen during my weekend. As it turns out, it wasn’t.

I’m not sure if this was the most interesting thing, but on Saturday night, I was sitting in car in a 7-11 parking lot with two other guys. It was then that I found out other guys share my theory that girls outside my own immediate family don’t poop or fart. The tertiary function of all men is to make gas and in large volumes. The tertiary function of women is to smell nice.

One guy I know, he had a lady friend over at his place once. While they were hanging out, he felt the call of nature. Rather than stink up his bathroom and risk her noticing, he actually left his own home and went to a public washroom to do his business. See what extremes you non-pooping and non-farting girls have driven us to?

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