Believe me, it was hard finding a shot where people weren’t naked

Let me make a public service announcement. You can now watch soft-core pornography on public, free television. Yeah, you heard me right. You know those movies you order at US hotels when you take a business trip to sell your shower curtains? The ones that cost like $12.95 a pop (get it? a pop… ha ha ha…)? That’s all free now.

City TV has decided to make every teenage boy (and perhaps even one grad student) in Vancouver happy they’re home watcing TV on Friday night. Every Friday at midnight, City TV puts on a soft-core porno. You won’t see an erect penis, but you’ll see plenty of enhanced breasts, flashes of frontal female nudity, and simulated sex.

Truly, we belong to the greatest civilization that this planet has ever witnessed.

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